My Daddy is A Babysitter!
by Ayane Hayabusa
Summary: What Happens when Eowyn leaves town and Faramir is stuck watching their daughter, Bella? With the help of Eomer, nothing can go wrong right? WRONG!


Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR, but I do own Bella... okie doke? I'm too lazy to put any more Disclaimers up  
  
It was a cold rainy morning in Rohan as Eowyn looked from Faramir, to the little girl who was clinging on the bottom of her skirt. " Faramir, darling..." she said with much concern, still looking at her daughter, " You are sure...you'll be alright? Little Bella has already scared off five nannies already..." Faramir laughed and picked up the little girl, now recognized as Bella and kissed his wife on the forehead, " Am I not a decent father? I am quite sure that I can take care of a three year old for a week, after all, I've taken care of you have I not?". Eowyn laughed and kissed her husband and little Bella, who was now playing with her father's hair, " Are you sure it is not vice-versa?" she said merrily as she put on a hooded cloak, ready to head off to Gondor to settle business. Faramir thought for a minute, and nodded, " I am quite positive Eowyn. But you know I am a horrendous chef. Have you prepared anything for us?" he responded. Eowyn laughed again, remembering the last time Faramir tried to cook. He almost burned the kitchen down but still boasted that his 'superb masterpiece' would be extremely delicious, which it was not. Eowyn handed her husband a list, " Of course I have made something for you and little Bellarwen. It's in the kitchen, it is stew in case you are curious, well... I must be off, I must go to this meeting in Gondor and take care of business" she said as she left the room. Faramir shrugged and threw the list to the side. Little did our poor Faramir know that this would be the worst week of his life.  
  
Bella smiled at her father and continued playing with his hair. She looked quite like her mother, but had the dark hair her father had. The little girl kissed Faramir's cheek, " Dada, I wanna horsy-back ride please..." whispered three year old Bella as she gently tugged her father's dark blonde, almost brown hair. Faramir nodded, " As you wish my little princess" he said as he put his daughter down and bent over in a crawling position and Bella climbed on, pretending that Faramir's hair were the reigns. " I'm ready when you are Bell..uh?" he said as he felt a sharp kick on his side. " Go Pony! Go!" cried a high pitched childish voice as Faramir started to crawl. Bella giggled and shouted, " Faster Pony! Go Faster!" . Faramir crawled faster and all of a sudden he felt his hair being tugged strongly, " Stop! Alright you may go again" Bella cried as Faramir rolled his eyes and continued crawling on. He felt his hair being tugged towards the right and his daughter command him to turn left and vice versa, for the little toddler did not know any sense of direction. Poor Faramir, a.k.a. Pony, felt his side being kicked five times as he heard his daughter yell, " Faster! Faster! Faster!" and her father obeyed, crawling faster with every kick.   
  
After about ten minutes of non-stop speed crawling, Faramir finally collapsed and gasped for air, " You've killed the pony..." he said faintly, hoping his daughter would understand that her father needed a break. But Bella frowned and jumped off, "Wake up Pony! Wake up!" she exclaimed as she continually kicked her father on the side and eventually started jumping on his back viciously. "Get off me!" yelled Faramir but his cries were faded out by his daughter's commands to wake up. All of a sudden he heard the door slam open and there stood Eomer.   
  
" Wow... " whispered Eomer then he burst out laughing, " What grand adventure is the great Lord Faramir up to now? That attack of the toddlers?". Faramir jumped up, embarrassed and shocked and he dusted his shirt and then smiled, " You are my savior Eomer! Bella, go and greet your mother's brother" he said as he rubbed his sore side. Bella looked up at Faramir with a puzzled look on her young face, " He's not my mother's brother... He's my Uncle!" she said, barely above a whisper. Faramir sighed, " I don't even have time to explain... Bellarwen, say hello to Uncle Eomer". Bella obeyed her father and even curtsied, " Hello, Uncle Eomer... how do you do on this fine day?" she said suddenly being a polite angel. Eomer kneeled down and kissed his niece on the cheek, " I am quite pleasant really, seeing your father being attacked mercilessly truly made my day" he said barely holding back from laughing. Faramir looked down at his daughter and frowned, "Umm... Bellarwen dear? Wanna play Find-whatever- I-tell- you-to-find?" . Bella nodded and jumped happily, " Oh would I!" she replied cutely. Faramir thought for a second, " I want you to find a purple pony with green and pink spots." he said seriously and Bella scurried off, looking for something she would obviously never find.   
  
Faramir sighed and found a seat nearby and sat down, offering the one in front of him to his brother-in-law, " Now... Eomer... I need your help... please accept this request or else I shall die a horrific death." he sighed as he said this, looking down wondering what to say next. Eomer looked serious at Faramir, " You mean... someone is out after you?". Faramir nodded and leaned back on his seat and wiped his sweaty forehead, " I suppose you can say so. If I am stuck with her any longer, I am going to go mad...". Eomer stood up and drew his sword ( yes he had his full armor and everything on... why? Cause I said so ya fool!) " Who is this woman? I shall slay her if it is your will!". Faramir jumped and almost screamed, " No! Don't kill Bella! Just help me take care of her for the rest of the week!". Eomer started laughing until he saw how serious Faramir looked, then he calmed down , " I'll help you baby sit... but I am starving. What do you have to eat?". Faramir remembered Eowyn mentioning stew, " We have some stew. Eowyn made it..". Eomer's eyes widened and he twitched violently," The... The... The... The... The.. The.. The.. The.." he repeated saying "The" until Faramir got annoyed and smacked him upside his head. Eomer stopped repeating 'the' but he still looked paranoid, " You.. You mean the monster lives?" he whispered with a shaky voice. Faramir looked confused, he has never tasted his wife's stew once and didn't know what was so bad about it, even though he did remember what Aragorn warning him about it. " Beware of the demonic stew that Eowyn brews for it is sure to make your taste buds screwed!" was Aragorn's warning. But at the time Faramir simply laughed and replied with, " Wow, I didn't know you were poetic! How long did it take for you to think that one up". Aragorn laughed and tapped his friend on the shoulder, " About five seconds"  
  
All of a sudden Faramir felt a tugging on his pant leg and he snapped back to reality, ending his flashback. Eomer still looked paranoid and Bella was back and she looked like she was about to cry. " Dada! I can't find the purple horsy! I'm hungry! I want stew!," shouted the upset little girl. Faramir picked up Bella and nudged Eomer with his shoulder, " Cummon, it can't be that bad!" he said, trying to be optimistic. Eomer sighed and followed, the expression on his face was full of fear, as if he was about to be beheaded. Faramir looked back and sighed. Eomer wasn't ever this scared, not even when he went to war. This stew must be really really evil.   
  
"Oh My God... It's Green!". " Dada! there's something wiggling in it! Kill it!". " IT LIVES! THE DEMON LIVES!". These were the reactions of the trio as they looked down upon the so called stew. ( A/N: In case you couldn't guess, Faramir was first, Bella was second and Eomer was last) Faramir backed away from it and almost threw up, " That can't be it. It just can't be!" he said almost scared. Bella screamed and hid her face in her father's chest, " Dada! It's a monster! Kill it!". Eomer twitched and stared at it, again repeating the word 'The' helplessly until he was smacked again. " Well, who wants some?" whispered Faramir. Bellarwen was now crying as the 'stew' bubbled and made funny noises. Eomer stared at it and let out a battle cry as he used his sword to stab the stew but it only bubbled more. They all screamed and backed up to the end of the room and Eomer was now about to cry in fear. Faramir nudged Eomer in the shoulder, " You! I have no weapons on me! Go kill it!" he said as Bella stared at the thing, frightened at the horrendous thing. Eomer gulped and threw his sword down and walked towards the demonic stew and lifted up the pot, letting out another battle cry. " DIE YOU VILE BEAST! DIE! DIE! DIE!!!!" he shouted as he dumped the contents out of the window. They could hear a random man out side screaming, " AHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES!". But at least they were safe, or so they thought. As Eomer brought the pot back in, they noticed a huge thing that resembled a worm and they all screamed. Eomer, still holding the pot ran back towards the window and dropped the pot, landing on the same random persons head.  
  
Faramir and Bella clapped and danced around. " EOMER IS OUR SAVIOR! EOMER SAVED THE DAY! EOMER IS OUR HERO! HURRAY! HURRAY! HURRAY!" the two sang in perfect unison. Eomer looked out the window and watched the worm thing slither away and see the random man look dead. He panted and finally fainted. Faramir and Bella immediately stopped singing. This was just the beginning of what they would have to be forced to go through  
  
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AH: YA'LL BETTER REVIEW YOU HEAR?!  
  
Navi: Shut up, you don't talk like that  
  
AH: I know... but I can dream I was from Texas can't I?  
  
Navi: Don't tease Texas, I've got a cousin there!  
  
AH: Alright... Hawaii gets boring at times... Ok remember to review okie doke?   
  
Navi: Okie Doke!  
  
AH: Navi.. you can't review  
  
Navi: *sarcastic voice* I know... but I can still dream I can can't I?  
  
AH: Yeah... I know.. ok.. by ya'll until next time! 


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